Scrisoarea mea nervoasa catre iubire

 

The English version of the article is in the continuation of the Romanian version.

"Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet, if Hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it, therefore, the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.[...]"

Edgar Allan Poe, A dream within a dream 

Draga iubire,

Dupa zile de confuzie si griji, m-am decis sa iti scriu si sa te iau la rost pentru toate angoasele, pentru toate temerile si dilemele mele, pentru noptile in care nu pot dormi, pentru zilele in care nu pot sa zambesc si pentru momentele in care simt ca lumea este la picioarele mele. Cum si cine a suflat atata putere peste tine? Tu, imaginea unei trairi fragile, intruchipare a unei zeitati cu ochi halucinanti si atingeri inselatoare, te strecori incet si rece, precum un sarpe, si incolacesti cu putere, pana la strangulare, fiecare inima ce iti iese in cale. Inclusiv pe a mea. Ai pandit-o bine, ai asteptat, si ai prins-o mai ceva ca intr-o menghina. O sa ii dai drumul vreodata? Realizez ca sunt neputincioasa in fata ta, revolta mea nu face decat sa te amuze, iar lupta pe care o port cu tine e demult pierduta.

Cand o sa incetezi sa joci pe degete suflete, precum monezi vechi si ruginite, si o sa oferi mai mult decat bucuria unui moment ce se incheie inainte sa apucam sa clipim? Da, imi mai arunci cate un os, ici colo, ma ingani cu un zambet, ma amagesti cu un "Te iubesc", imi oferi minunata clipa de iluzie, si apoi ma arunci din nou in vartejul de indoieli si temeri. Asa ca te rog, politicos si oarecum nervos, fii mai blanda cu mine, neputincioasa ta victima, strangeti aripile negre-rosii ce se odihnesc si sporesc greutatea sufletului, si lasa-ma sa respir aerul curat al serenitatii.

A ta victima revoltata,
Andreea 




Dear love,
 
After days of confusion and worries, I decided to write a letter to you and let you know that you are responsible for all my fears, all my dilemas, for all the sleepless nights, for all the days when I can't smile, and for the moments when I feel the world lays at my feet. How and who gave you this gift of immense power? You, the somptous image of fragile beings, goddess with hallucinant eyes and deceiving touches, you sneak behind me, slowly and cold, like a serpant, and you use your charms to strangulate my heart, with such power and such indifference. Will you ever let it go from your  ruthless claws? I realize that I am helpless, my revolt is only amusing you, and this struggle resisting you is useless.

When will u stop playing with all our souls, and you will offer us more than the joy of a moment that ends before we even blink? Yes, you throw me a bone, now and then, you deceive me with a smile, you make peace with an I Love You, you give me the wonderful second of illusion, and then you throw me back again in the vortex of doubts and fears. So I ask you, politely and somehow anxiously, be gentle to me,  your impuissant victim, lift your black-red wings that lay on me, and give me the chance to breath the fresh air of serenity.

Your indignant victim,
Andreea