Walls of our own

"I’m telling you, these walls are funny. First you hate them. Then you get used to them. Enough time passes, it gets so you depend on them. That’s institutionalized."


Ieri am vazut The Shawshank Redemption. Faptul ca m-am oprit la filmul asta a fost o pura intamplare, dar recunosc, am fost intrigata de faptul ca este pe primul loc in topul celor mai bune 250 de filme pe IMDB. Postul asta nu va fi, insa despre film, cat va fi despre gandurile si deceptiile ce mi-au fost trezite urmarindu-l. E de ajuns sa spun ca protagonistii acestui film traiesc intr-o inchisoare, cusca ce le-a devenit intre timp casa, cusca ce i-a institutionalizat, ce i-a indoctrinat, iar toata viata de detinut si-o petrec gandindu-se ca exteriorul, lumea din afara, este de fapt capcana si sursa tuturor temerilor si angoaselor. Inchisoarea devine o lume in sine, devine un intreg univers, guvernat de reguli ce par a fi perfect acceptabile, nimic nu mai este catalogat drept inuman. Uitandu-ma la filmul asta, nu am putut sa nu ma gandesc la societatea si lumea in care traim. Intreaga experienta m-a facut sa ma intreb: Cu ce este, pana la urma, viata noastra diferita fata de cea a unui detinut?. Viata "moderna" a oricaruia dintre noi a devenit atat de regimentata, atat de stricta, incat de multe ori devenim proprii nostri prizonieri, de multe ori realizam ca nu putem sa evadam si ca suntem captivi in dansul asta salbatic, iar singura solutie este sa tinem pasul. Ne trebuie o agenda, ne trebuie un program pentru a gasi spatiu pentru fiecare aspect important din viata noastra. Pentru ca traim intr-o societate guvernata de puterea banului si de autoritate financiara, suntem invatati ca succesul se masoara in numarul de zerouri din contul bancar. Asa ca ce avem mai bun de facut decat sa alergam toata viata dupa aceasta fata morgana ?

Cuminti si ascultatori, ne trezim la ora 7, de luni pana vineri. Daca suntem cu adevarat determinati putem munci si cate 12 ore pe zi, doar doar primim o marire. Ajungem acasa dupa o zi extenuanta si tot ce putem visa e sa mancam si sa ne prabusim in fata televizorului, sau poate sa urmarim un documentar pe internet (asta daca intr-adevar suntem ambitiosi si dornici de "dezvoltare personala"). Sambata si duminica (daca nu lucram), ne ramane sa facem cumparaturile pentru saptamana ce urmeaza, pentru ca bineinteles avem nevoie de combustibil. Desigur, mai este si incercarea disperata de a ne spune noua insine ca nu ne irosim viata chiar degeaba prin ocazionalele iesiri cu prietenii, gratare, cititul razlet al unei carti. Acum spune-mi cum este diferita viata noastra fata de a unui detinut?

  Da, inchisoarea noastra are gratii invisible, gratii subtile, gratii metaforice. Si da, inchisoarea noastra poate cuprinde lumea intreaga, are mai multe gadget-uri si upgrade-uri, are celebritati si activitate de noapte, inchisoarea noastra are o intreaga industrie a entertainment-ului si e scaldata in artificii. Dar tot prizonieri suntem, toti suntem institutionalizati in cadrul aceluiasi sistem, in cadrul unei organizatii, suntem numere, statistici, suntem catalogati si apreciati in functie de performanta ( buna purtare), suntem cai ce alearga intr-o cursa infinita. Acum nu pot decat sa ma gandesc la o cale de evadare.

"I’m telling you, these walls are funny. First you hate them. Then you get used to them. Enough time passes, it gets so you depend on them. That’s institutionalized."

  Yesterday I watched The Shawshank Redemption. I watched this movie by pure chance, probably intrigued by the fact that it has been rated best movie in IMDB’s top 250. This post will not be about the movie, but about the thoughts and deceptions that got awakened within me. It is enough to say that the protagonists of this movie are living inside a prison, a cage that has become their home, a cage that institutionalized them, that indoctrinated them, to the point that they see the outside world as the source of fear and anxiety, the prison becomes a world in itself, a universe governed by rules that seem confortable and make sense to the inmates. Watching this movie, I couldn’t help thinking about the society and the world in which we live. This experience made me ask myself: How is our life different from a prisoner’s life? Our “modern” life has become so regimented, so strict, that we often discover we are our own prisoners, we realize that we cannot escape our own existence and the only solution that we see in sight is keeping up with this savage dance of life. We need agendas, organizers, we need schedules to find space in our lives for everything that matters. Because we live in a society that is governed by money and financial authority, we are taught that success is only measured in the number of digits of your bank statement.  So all it is left to do is to spend our lives chasing this chimera.

  Well behaved and obedient, we wake up at 7 am, Monday to Friday and if we are really ambitious, we work as much as 12 hours a day. We get home after an exhausting day and all we can dream about is a good dinner and a long nap. Here and there, maybe we will watch a documentary, just for the sake of our personal development. Saturday and Sunday (if we’re not working), we’re busy doing grocery shopping for the following week because, like every machine, we need fuel. Of course, there is the occasional desperate attempt to tell ourselves that our life is not completely wasted by going out with acquaintances, going to barbeques, reading a book. But I am asking you, how is our life different from the life of an inmate?

  Yes, our prison has invisible bars, subtle, metaphoric bars. And yes, our prison can expand to the size of the entire world, has more gadgets and upgrades, has celebrities and a night life, our prison revolves around the entertainment industry and it abounds in fireworks. But we’re still prisoners, we are all institutionalized inmates within the same system, inside a huge mechanism, within an organization, we are numbers, we are statistics, we are appreciated and rated based on performance (well behaved inmates), we are race horses that run in an infinite circle. Now I can’t stop thinking about a way to escape…